You have to accept it. Not only that live by it- my wife reminded me. But that’s not easy.
I have to accept me. It’s my condition – I’m living with chronic illness. Not in a very bad condition but with little progress.
It’s one of those things I need to do, more than once. It’s difficult you know – it’s difficult! I don’t want to be this way, who would?
The light at the end of the tunnel grows dim.
One, when our world seems overturned due to certain hits and misses, life goes slow or in the opposite.
You take a rest, hoping you’d move on!
With my wife, we started out well enough when we get married. Yet we went the opposite of our personal career planning. People called me less ambitious – well, they may be right!
Unlikely Situations:
Yet we accept this must be the way of our life that’s planned before, which is the mystery of life.
My chronic condition did not get worsen; I praise God for that. Sometimes it struck at the most unlikely situations like it did last week.
This sends me to self-analyzing myself again although it might not be the best thing to do. I’m on a different route than what I’ve dreamed of me.
Few from my Bucket List:
Accepting me, just as I am, is one crucial step on my journey till now. However, there is One who accepts people just as they were.
Yet there are certain reasons, which sometimes make it hard to accept the reality. I wanted to achieve more!
I wanted to do a good amount of follow-up or promote my books. I wanted them to be easily available in my country as well.
We, me and my wife wanted to pursue higher education than the degree we have secured till now. We have this undying desire to learn more and secure more degrees in our respective fields of study. It is put on hold.
Anyways, who loves dropping things to do from your bucket list.
I wanted to give the best version of me to my children and to my wife. Yet there’s a hindrance or big hurdle in my life.
I want my acquired neuro disorder to end very much because it limited my living. Yet I’m still having all the fun in life. I am tired!
Only with thoughts but no steps to take forward.
If and only If
If and only if, I could finance my way to what I want to pursue – at least one more time.
If and only if, my physical body gets renewed again as before…
If only if my spiritual being is healed…
At times, no, at this stage I think I’m done with all my life. I may achieve none of my dreams. I’m way past it.
The reason is – I chose the wrong path. I do not blame anyone. I don’t see what tomorrow holds, what would I be in five years. The sad demise of my father and my elder brother left a huge void in my family and in my heart. There were many things I would like to discuss….
But now, there’s no one who listens or understand, like they did.
It’s hitting me hard again. I have this feeling once in a while.
Accepted
One thing, I know, is that I’ll hold onto my faith and hope by grace.
I believe this path is laid out for me. God created certain difficult circumstances in life so that his glory be revealed through me and my family.
The faithful patriarch in the book of Genesis in the Holy Bible faced the same thing. God created circumstances to reveal his glory.
Although they’re not perfect God accepted them as faithful and righteous.
My imperfections came to the fore many times and again. I need more work on it. Yet I’m still struggling!
I need to accept myself. That, I’m no more the better version of me. And, also that I need HELP at all times!
