Close Your Eyes

‘Close your eyes
Don’t look around
Think about the good things
Imagine you’re on a beach
You can think of the pasture land with cool air
Where you spent your childhood days
Imagine you were there
Close your eyes……’

I try to follow his instruction as best as I could. He massages my hands with his soft, little, and weak fingers. His hands are not weak, he’s young, or either my nerves are no more feeling it well.

Closing my eyes:

Our eyes deceived us, or in my case. So, I close my eyes. However, fear gripped me that my condition might get worse. I’ve been there. I knew it. And I wanted to avoid it if it’s in my hand. My mouth dissolving medicine is inside my mouth. If I could swallow it then it might help.

‘Close your eyes……
You’re safe in His hands…’

He reminded as he kept stroking me. We’re both helpless. Sometimes he prayed out loud. At times, I try mumbling some words of prayer. That is what my child could do. Then I open my eyes. Thank God I did not wake up in the ER. I’m right here with them.

These days my son really helps me by trying to calm me. Let me clarify, I’ve never been to beaches except for the little sand by the river where I would sleep during my childhood days.

My young son watches me closely. If something worse happens, he should seek help. That’s how we told him. Yet he is determined nothing will happen if I can follow him. My cheeks are not twitching, my eyelids don’t blink helplessly. So, in due time I shall be fine.

Still, he kept on massaging with the soft and comforting words of how God will take care of us…

‘Dad, rest your mind
don’t think of anything.
I will call mother if needed.
Close your eyes’.

My neurological disorder, sometimes, is triggered by what my eye is focussing. The unusual spark of light, anything unusual or usual things triggered unwanted attacks. It is from my eyes where I can begin to feel something isn’t right. Yet I can’t keep my eyes close at all times.

When I can close my eyes, it is the first step towards resting my mind. If not, a huge attack is on the way. My eyes are deceiving me. Yet I’m more than grateful to God for giving me this aura so that I’m left with few seconds to prepare for the next probable outcome. It’s a blessing!

Now I wanted to leave the matter here for now. I don’t want to recollect nor do I opening my diary to the doctor. However, I needed to do it since I need help.

Seeing through our Eyes:

While our eyes are our greatest gifts they can also deceive us. What we saw did not give us the complete picture of a particular subject. We need research, the knowledge behind the picture before us. When a picture is presented without statutory facts it can be misconstrued or use as propaganda.

Our eyes see the intensity of the troubles surrounding us. It can add to our fear and numbing our minds. One must see through the intensity of the problem. However, it is sad to admit that it is difficult to see beyond the intensity of the problem.

Today, due to the second wave of the Covid19 pandemic, which is deadlier than the first it instills fear in our minds. The shortage of hospital beds, shortage of medical oxygen, and the visuals of the dead bodies are hard to believe in this Modern Age is unbelievable. Yet it is what is going on in our city and country.

Naturally, what the eyes see gives the unnecessary assumption or calculation of what might happen next should this problem persist. It’s the intensity again which pained our heart. Yet there’s his hope for the believers of the living God.

Closing our eyes –opening our spiritual eyes:

Closing our earthly eyes is the first step to get away from this fear and pain caused by the pandemic. However, closing our eyes does not solve the problem. It gives rest to the mind.

When we close our eyes and being our hearts dwelling in the sacred place of the Most High, we find peace and comfort. It is not running away from the trouble but resting in the Lord’s.

Meditate- Closing my eyes:

Close your eye meditate on God’s word, singing praise unto him. Spending our time with God to renew our strength. Everything underneath the heaven and above are in his hands. In the midst of our fear, he will comfort us.

Due to my neurological disorder what my eyes see is not the real-time picture of it. There were times I saw people as deformed, the things I saw get stuck in my mind even when I close my eyes. I saw sparks of light inside my head. The best thing I do is close my eyes and try to let it go.

As for me, I close my eyes in meditation. As I’ve seen it, meditation is not owning myself rather inviting the Holy Spirit to renew me. We do not own ourselves since we become his children. Our owner will do what he wants with us. Who are we to own our body by resenting the power of God to reveal in our life.

Do not Fear:

Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’ Isaiah 41:10

Opening our Spiritual Eyes:

The privilege of the son God is unique. Even in our worst situations of life, the spirit is always with us. He is abiding with us. By being in him and him in us, he will open our spiritual eyes.  Call to him – Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.’ Jeremiah 33:3

It might not end or take away our difficulties but we can see the glory and better place which is awaiting us. If it’s in our hands, no one wants to leave this world even though there’s nothing much the world promises. But we can see what is waiting for us since we accept the gospel of God in our hearts. Here is the GOSPEL:

…that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, and that He was buried, and that He rose again the third day according to the Scriptures, and that He was seen by Cephas, then by the twelve. After that, He was seen by over five hundred brethren at once, of whom the greater part remain to the present, but some have fallen asleep. 1 Corinthians 15: 3-6

Our spiritual eyes lets us see the gospel clearly in our journey of life despite our sufferings. Close your earthly eyes at times, you may see more.
Close your eyes. Get away with the Lord!