Deleting the Past

One fine day I was busy re-arranging my books and notebooks, which were mostly half-a-decade old. It was a great reminiscence of the bygone years. The past had its meaning, especially the short notes in one paragraph or two in the blank pages summed up my condition during those days.

I don’t know why I’m still keeping those 5 to 10 pages notepads with me. Even now, I don’t intend to throw it away. My daily financial records when in the campus for my undergraduate program was quite a treat. It contains the amount of my book purchased, bus fare for the day, slightest use of five rupees was also recorded.

But there are certain written notes I wanted to keep away with, just as deleting my previous post on Facebook when it reappears. The past can sometimes haunt us; those notes mostly one-lined venting anger at myself needs to be put away the same way in my Facebook status update.

Deleting the past memories in the Facebook was easy; just a simple press on a button does the work. But not all the past and what I’ve been and done can’t be deleted that way. And that is what makes me write this piece.

I smiled and I was buried in the past as I read the short poems intended for loved ones which did not even make it to them. But I regret not, as life’s meant to be this way now, which I’ve accepted for some time now. Yet there are so many things I keep inside me because of my insecure heart.

Unwanted Phases of the Past:

It’s hard to admit though there are lots, no but at least one certain phase which I wanted to delete. I don’t know about others but I had my mistakes. Among those mistakes, some are overcome with while some are still lingering in the mind, only as “what ifs”.

Spoiler alert here: Spending too much time on the past simply ruined the present atmosphere. We can lack love, lack of interest in the present situation and with the people around us. I have read a lot about people who had childhood trauma not resulting from their fault but solely because they are innocent.

However, no one knows the state of others real mind so people can misjudge us. And it is important to note here that people judge us based on our past. So we need looking ourselves at the mirror as well and try to convince others or if not remain calm at the appropriate time and place.

We are Over-comers, and we can be over-comers as well, in the abiding grace of the Lord Jesus Christ. People may not found you unworthy of trust. But for the Lord, we are able to perform anything with Him as our foundation and source of strength.

King David’s Unwanted Past:

King David has had a very good record of the past. He was the person with whom God has done the impossible. His music was soul soothing, calming the heart filled with evil desires. The slingshot in his hand killed the giant while the slingshot in my hand simply killed an innocent bird.

While my Grandpa told me stories of him, I wanted to be like him: a small boy who can be used by God for his glory. It was indeed king David who delivered the people of God from their enemy. His psalms were a delight to the heart because he was in communion with God.

The “Bathsheba Chapter” of his life, (2 Samuel 11) described my admired preacher when he visited our church, was unexpected of him. For a person of his stature, it was hard to believe. But his physical desire let him fall before his God; sinning against God. “Oh, how I wish the Bathsheba Chapter can be deleted from his life,” lamented the preacher.

Yet King David is also a person who have desires like us. And it doesn’t end there. He repented with deep confession and humility before God although with the cost of his sin still to be paid.

Deleting Unwanted Past:

I also happened to have a phase or chapter in my life, which I wanted to delete as I did with my Facebook post or my notes from my previous notepads. How I wish I could simply through it away in the water to be washed anew. It is possible! Our God is able to forgive us!

Our God is calling:

“Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the LORD.
“Though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red as crimson,
they shall be like wool. (Isaiah 1:18)

Responding to this call is a life-changing game for me. I can still hear it from the mouth of my father who passed away some time ago. He reads it to us often.

The God who forgives King David is able to forgive us, with compassion, if we’ve been down the road. And it’s a fair warning for those of us who’ve not been there yet. Stay alert, try to keep out of it!

Benefiting from the Past:

The past, as we’ve talked about, is a good way of reminding ourselves and our children. King David had gone through brokenness, sword fighting among his family, running away from his own children. So, it’s no wonder we have also been there.

There is a positive note of it, an upside of the brokenhearted. As it goes, we are traumatized, pained, and suffered rejections in many ways. But in that period of times, we longed for the presence of God in our living as before. For people who do not commune with God earlier have the intention of hearing from him.

One thing is sure now – we cannot delete all of the past or any of it. It strikes us in its own time. However, it can be meaningful to our life should we gave it all to God so that he would use it for his glory. Yes, the Savior can surely do that; mending hearts of people through you and when your longing for God is seen.

Can’t delete the past; leave it to God
Can’t delete the past; don’t let Evil One use it
Can’t delete the past; pray to God for help
Can’t delete the past; remember it’s not only you
Can’t delete the past; pray it doesn’t hurt others
Can’t delete the past; used it for His glory
Can’t delete the past; it’s finished on the Cross
Can’t delete the past; try finishing well for now

The Book of Psalms in the Bible is mostly the reflection of a person who really longs for God and his ways. Some are filled with praise, some are confessions, longing for God even after having sinned against him. Now, let us be more alert and careful; not simply sleeping on our life.

God bless you!