Growing Up with My Mother

My mother came home from the field. She looks tired; scaling the contours of hills and valleys beautifully crafted by the Creator. We eagerly waited for her to arrive home. Actually, we’re hoping mother would bring us something to eat.

As I can fairly recalled, her shabby dress was filled with sweat. Still, mother didn’t have bad odor from the sweat, she smells good even after a long day working under the sun. The shabby dress was for work; the very few clean and pretty dresses are meant only for Sunday Church Service.

Mother rested her loads in the corner. She arranged the vegetables – sellable and non-sellable. The non-sellable, which would serve our stomach directly, sometimes our neighbor’s as well. The sellable vegetable would bring us some good food and daily needs. Some are supposed to buy us education too.

At last, our gawking eyes saw something different; mother took it out and gave it to us. It’s a big and soft species of cucumber. She cut the cucumber and gave us equal shares so that we wouldn’t create a chaotic noise. I should have been thankful but I was adamant to accept it. Let me tell you a secret, I was good at pouting.

My siblings have almost eaten their share; however, mine almost left untouched. It was so wrong to expect cookies on such days. There’s hardly any shop in the village selling cookies. If mother worked in a bakery, she would have brought us baked cookies.

Mother tried her best to persuade me eat the soft cucumber, as she was now busy preparing meal in the earthen hearth or stove. The meal needs to get ready for the entire family before dusk. My unapologetic tantrum was at its best height, as I missed her and wanted to be pampered. However, mother have handful of chores to perform to get the family going.

“Nuak leh aw, ka zaang,” she said after a long wait, as I’m still throwing tantrum.

“What does that mean?” I asked my elder brother and sister.

“That means, well, we can take your share,” they replied as they saw a chance to enlarge their share today. It is partly true, its nearest meaning could be, ‘and I’d blew/lost it because of my pouting or tantrum’. This is an idiom we have. It’s a good lesson to learn that day, as my share was taken away from me.

And that’s how mommy imparts knowledge and mannerisms without the use physical punishment. It’s for me to suffer in my greed as I should have been happy with what I got in the very first place.

The hard-working Mother:

Our moms are our dearest friend, always. They always have soft corner for us in their heart. My mother did not have the chance to get good education but she insists on us getting good education. Education needs to be bought and she worked with my father in whatever way she could.

There was no vacation for my parents. In the summer, they tilt the land for growing rice and vegetables; and grow other vegetable in the fields during winter. They keep working; they are busy, and they are happy tending their children at the same time. Even when there’s no work, mother weaved cloth for the family and for selling in the market.

I don’t know how mother took time out for us letting us memorized verses from the Bible, those verses from Psalms 1, 34, 37, 119:1, 125, and many more from the four gospels and afterwards. Most of the verses I can remember word-to-word. These verses are the ones that crossed my mind in my happy and sad times. Mother had set the best foundation of a living in our heart. She did not speak much yet she knew what is important for living.

Breaking the News:

At some point in life, I thought I’d never grow up; it’s going to take time, I’d say. It is because we wanted to grow up soon, became a big man, and do things we wanted on our own. But almost every grownups lamented their childhood happiness.

In that way, I too grew up soon when I set out for university education. Then one day, I met my then girlfriend. I was eager to tell my parents breaking the news, as those were the best times of life. So, I called up my mother as I did often. She’s like a girlfriend at home where I sharpen my humor for my future outings.

“Mom, I have a girlfriend. She seems to like me, it seems real. And if things go well we intended to marry one day,” I said.

“Wow, that’s fast! I am happy for you, big guy! I’ll tell your father and go slow,” mother replied. She sounded happy, I said to myself. By the way, everyone sounds happy when we’re in good mood, especially during this kind of period in our life.

“And that’s exactly what I wanted you to do –telling my father,” I said as we moved onto several topics and life as it goes on, at home and other places. It’s because my father might have said some other thing so I told my mother. Noteworthy here is that my mother’s not jealous, nor did she sound like one, if you know what I meant.

Mother’s kind Advice:

Moving further, we got married trying to set up a family. After five long years, we are blessed with our first child. We both are working so we asked for help from home. Mother came down alone for a short time. But it must have been very long time for them, as I understand it now.

My parents don’t want to get separated; they are very much in love. But mother never hesitated to come and help us. However, I felt sorry looking back those periods I’ve separated them, as I did not know what the future holds for them at that time. Each night my father called, may be reiterating their love.

“My son, as you see the love between us, you must try loving your wife as much as you can,” she told me number of times. Some other words are mother said are; you should love each other very much, if you wanted to be happy your whole life. Then your love and attitude towards your children as well as your siblings will develop well.

Mother reiterated her love for us. She deeply missed our younger days when we went to church holding hands every morning. Those days are gone forever, once she lamented, I am missing you always. But she understood my new role as a lover, husband, father, and the likes.

Our meeting at my father’s funeral:

“We thought you won’t be able to make it,” my mother said, holding me tight as we sat near my father’s lifeless body.

“Yes, I’m happy I can make it today,” I replied. In reality, I’m lost in words to condole my mother.

It’s the end of their love story, as father succumbed to his deadly illness. And it’s really sad, very sad indeed! My mother still prevented me from possible relapse of my delicate health due to loss of our father.

After delivering my funeral speech and when it’s time for burial, I hugged my mother. My mother’s physique has declined as her health too takes a down-step for a while now. I still remember her well built body with her abdominal fat; probably gathered during gestational period, slightly quaking as she walks.

May the good Lord bring comfort to my mother in the lonely night and day!

I’ll pray for you:

“I’ll go to our Bethel,” she said as I called to tell her some of my health problems from time to time. She prayed for us, not only at home, but devoting special time for us as they always did with my late father. It really brings comfort hearing a sincere prayers to the Lord God, many times with tears, were presented in my/our behalf. (Here, Bethel, as I used it, is a prayer hut in the outskirt of our vicinity.)

Although we couldn’t be in the same place together, we met there in our hearts before the Lord. It really is a great joy to have someone who prays for you even when you can’t. And especially because, I grow weak and weary very easily in my walk of life. It’s a great joy to have a praying mother.

“Thank you for calling,” said my mother at the end of my call, every time I called. For some time I wondered, why the politeness at one’s own son? I realized it’s good manner, but more than that, she really meant it. It’s always a joy to hear from us, although we hardly had good news to delight her living condition.

Well, so many things to say; the list’s never going to end. But I must end it here for today. I thank God for giving me a mother with whom I spent good times with. And she’s still with me today; she’ll be reading it!

With living words you filled my heart,
It brings light and hope in my ages.
Forever I’ll be indebted to you.
It’s the treasure worth a diamond
You trained me to face the world,
The world, which is uneasy to tread;
Stay with God, you always told me;
You’ll never get lost in your way.
May your tears be treasured;
That, it’d be rewarded abundantly.
May God pour happiness upon you;
I love you my dear mother!