I am very tired since yesterday. I don’t know the exact sequence leading me to this state. I felt worn out emotionally, physically, and mentally. I needed a healing touch.
Words were not enough this time. I felt not enough for me. I am overwhelmed by how much my loved ones and dear ones would have been affected by my condition. It’s strange how I can’t simply get over simple things This is not the way I wanted to be. I wanted everyone around me to give them their best life and present the good side of me.
I need a healing touch.
Although I did not owe an explanation to anyone, it must have been under the weather or due to the psychosomatic pains swirling inside my brain. No, I am just not good enough; not good enough to lead a life the way I wanted.
Had I known beforehand, I said to my mother, all my hard work and NOT living with them in my search for a better life, I would only stick with them during my childhood days. I want to talk but I keep it inside.
Healing touch:
Then, I stumbled across Jeremiah 30:17 “But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds,” declares the LORD.
And another verse in the Scripture, “Rest in me, all you who are weary and burdened.” Matt. 11:28 sounds comforting to me.
This is unlike my other posts. I am very much in pain, I wanted to sleep away, but there were so many things I wanted to do and achieve in this brief lifetime. I may write more about it in my upcoming books, the idea is already there if I have the strength to go on.
Not the first time:
I am reminded of the time I almost passed out in the tube or underground metro station. I simply took a chance, waiting for the miracle to not get embarrassed on my way back home. What is this life? I will know one day, but I wanted to hang on to it.
It’s been a long I wanted to get healed. I can’t be what I wanted; I can’t pursue my dream fully. Most of them I thought I have given it up for good. Yet a new beginning has not dawned on me. There were so many things I wanted to do in this life.
I wanted it to sound positive. but in reality, I’m very tired today!
Thank you for your prayers!
