The inner room in my heart is a secret place for me. I don’t visit it very often. It is the room where I dumped most of my thoughts and emotions, which shaped me. I would often go there to clean it out. Yes, I have a hard time cleaning it up sometimes. But when it is clean for my saviour to dwell, I am relieved of all the heavy thoughts that weigh me down.
Many of my thoughts are thrown in this room because they might explode through my tongue. The result, in turn, would cause chaos in my living and the people around me. It is the people whom you loved the most that you hurt. And, they are also the one who hurts you the most.
Why are you so reserved? You may ask. Well, it’s because my thoughts are often faster than my actions and words. Some of us could relate to it. The problem arises when this room witnessed an incoming zeal of greed or jealousy, fantasizing the bygone good years, and the likes of expecting people to be truthful with courtesy. But I don’t know if we could handle all the true side of the people around us would we know them all.
I wanted someone trustworthy to share what is there in the inner room of my heart. Yet it is hard to find. Not everyone could understand how I am expressing nor does it bother me anymore. yet I wanted peace or understanding with everyone, especially those who were close to me.
This room remains mostly closed. Yet I can see myself spending time here yet this is not always advisable. Again this closed room, if cleaned up, is a place where I could spend good times with my saviour. It is also a place where my strength is renewed because is compassion is renewed every morning.
Sometimes I suspect everyone must have been like me –who have closed-door they do not want to revisit. And even if they do so, they won’t let it out. They will carry it to their graves. This, in turn, does not earn them the trust of the people around them. Yet it’s a way of living, which we now called liberty and mutual respect in today’s world.
The problem for me lies in that my chain of thoughts should be controlled. It was advised by many including my doctor. However, this chain of thoughts is a privilege that gave me chance to write poems and short stories.
Our hearts, however hard we may try, is dirty in nature. It disturb me even while I wanted to meditate, spend time with the Holy Spirit. It gets corrupted.
Thus, I could see myself reflected in the Psalm of David: 51:10-12
Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
Then, I also wrote these lines for me to sing:
Fill the inner room of my heart
Purify me, make me holy!
Holy God, Powerful Lord
Glory and Sovereignty is yours
Your will be done on earth
Your will be done on earth.
Core of my Heart
Here, I am not contented with ‘come into my heart.’ So, I focused on the word ‘core’. It’s me being offering the core of my wicked heart.
I have no other offering to my God rather than my wicked heart. A sinner with a broken heart, my inner room filled with darkness and resentment because I know the Lord will not be happy with me. However, it is my offering to my God.
Open my lips, Lord, and my mouth will declare your praise. You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise.
Dwelling in our Heart:
In his exchange of letters to the Corinthians, the apostle Paul wrote: For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: “I will dwell with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be My people.”2 Cor.6.16
Once our heart is occupied by the Holy Spirit, we find the strength to carry on despite the deadly pestilence snd the terror of night and day.
In today’s world, we are fed with news that disturbs our living because of the atrocities done on humankind. Yet we refuge in the Lord. It is my prayer that we would preserve the temple of God, till the time has come for us to meet him.
Open the door of your heart:
In the end, what is there in the inner room of our heart decides our afterlife and our way of living. The coming of Christ and his sacrificial work on Calvary’s cross break opened the inner room as it did today and forever it will be.
Open the inner door of your heart. You will be amazed by what is occupying you. If it needs cleaning, ask the Lord for help. If there were precious emotions, cherish them. Make it a place where you can take a rest – enjoy your time with the saviour.
