I want to keep it simple. This is the question I kept to myself. As we enter the passion week I want to talk about at least the tip, as in an iceberg, of it. When you are suffering from a certain chronic disorder, which causes you physical and mental suffering, and pain, you want to hide it as much as possible. I need your opinion on this matter.
I am not on the frontline of the battle trying to spread the word, reach the unreached, giving all my life even to the point of becoming a martyr. However, I have to fight within me to see the next day.
I’m deprived of my work, monthly income, my glorious joy, limited in my aspect, and looked down and downtrodden in this life. At times, I don’t feel like suffering for good, as I’m not doing any good. Not for the gospel either as I’m not fully engaged in any ministry. 1 Peter
Many times, my prayer line goes – please do not let me take the extreme step even when I lose control of myself in the episodes of my breakdown. Let me throw a clue about my disorder if you’re a first-time reader, it has something to do with brain diseases, neurological pain, and the baggage of the order.
At any given point in time, I cannot compare my pain to wearing a splinter on my head. Yet sometimes it feels like it. I cannot go in that line confidently as I’ve never had the chance to wear the splinter as Jesus did. The scar itself is a reminder of my ongoing battle with pain and life as a whole.
the Irritating Question:
Now, the question arises – I am not in the realm of the apostle, I am not practically serving the Lord among the unreached. I am just a guy who tries to live day-to-day despite the pain and tries to see the bright side of my suffering.
Thus, six years ago I started this website. You can read all my books on Amazon. However, I was in the battle of my suffering when I wrote all those books and contents. it never was a genre I would choose if I were given a chance. But I must learn to live with it and be happy as I stated in my first book Unconsumed: In his abiding grace till my seventh book. I decided to leave a mark for the glory of the Lord.
Have You Say About Suffering:
Either you suffered enough or you read quite well about it or you’re a scholar I want your opinion, have your say here, please.
You know, sometimes we’re on the verge of giving it up when tomorrow seems bleak. When the pain is too much to bear and the news from the doctor is not that reassuring even after fifteen to seventeen years.
Is it worth it to keep on suffering? Would it glorify the Lord? The shame, misunderstanding, and depression it brought along with.
Since my answer is YES I’m not trying to give up, but as I say earlier if nothing happens without my conscience. I don’t want to lose the battle. I felt chosen for this although there were people who were spiritually filled and stronger than me.
Suffering – Causes and Outcome:
When I too focused on the causes of my suffering, I felt angry. Why me? There were so many responsibilities on my shoulder and I want to achieve more in life. Yet that ‘why me?’ sometimes turns into ‘why not me?’ It must have a purpose why God put it on me. He wanted me to get closer to him. And if not, I’d be a man of too many words living a dubious but luxurious life all my life.
I cannot say anything about the outcome. I’m at the forefront. I will run away from this life because I know God will still find me even if I try to run away from his sight. Nothing is out of his sight.
Until then I will try my best to stay encouraged, living in the strength of the Lord in the hope and belief that my suffering will glorify the Lord my God.
My Hope in Suffering:
I hope that it would turn me into a better man. “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” Romans 5:3-5
James wrote to the first-century believers: (James 1:2-4) Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
Yes, I want to finish but hang onto it for a long time despite the pain, without lacking anything in my Lord God.
