‘Rest well, Daddy please don’t cry!’ said she.
Then she gently rubbed my cheeks with her baby-soft hands. She told me she’ll be going to school again.
‘I’ll be back soon,’ she added while hugging me as I sat on my old footstool on the balcony. She wants to see me smile, she wants to see me happy.
‘Did he really cry?’ asked her brother surprisingly.
‘Yes! I saw few tears rolling down his cheeks.’
But I’m not crying literally. I have tears in my eyes. Sometimes you can see it rolling down my cheek. I used to hide it. Other than my children no one will see me cry. And yes it’s true, I got teary-eyed many times when I prayed alone. I want to be alone.
Daddy cries when he’s reading along or alone.
Daddy cries when he’s singing, playing his guitar.
He has tears when he is happy and when he is sad.
Got welled up, he’s too much absorbed by the words
She’s seen it. I’ve no time to hide.
At that time, she’s the one who spent more time with me. So even when I pray and sang I let her sit beside me.
If emotional strength is to talk about, it is one of my weaknesses. I cried since my childhood days longing to be with my parents at all times, maybe as any child would.
My neurological disorder, since my early 20s and the present time, further deepens the crisis. Yet I’m not a cry baby.
Keep Smiling:
‘Daddy, you look handsome when you smile.I will tell you a joke.’ When they narrate to me their silly jokes, their efforts make me smile. Not only did we smile we laugh out heartily. So we try to keep smiling as the days goes by.
The sufferings and pain, sometimes the financial situation, and the unseen pit are to cry for. The ray of hope bringing JOY is also to cry for.
When your thinking mind is so much connected with Grace and the beauty of the Savior, The Psalms and Lamentations in the Bible are the words to cry with.
The songs yearning for his Kingdom come, declaring his unseen work, and longing for him to see our present situation cause tears to roll down.
Welling Up While Reading:
Many times my eyes well up while reading the goodness of God amid adversities of life. I can still remember when you get so ingrained in the words, tears of helplessness, happiness, comfort. And joy ensued.
The psalms of David in Psalms 13, 23, 25, 51, 71, 84, 121,125 are some of my favorites from the Psalms in the Old Testament. The Song of Mary, Zechariah, and the wonders of Christ, and the Epistles in the New Testament always took my heart.
Psalms 13, 71:14
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
Look on me and answer, LORD my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,
and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation
I will sing the LORD’s praise,
for he has been good to me.
As for me, I will always have hope;
I will praise you more and more.
Lamentations 3:22-27
“Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:
Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassion never fail.hey are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”
The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD. It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young.”
And I said to myself, I too had the privilege to witness the goodness of God in the desert land; in the wilderness of life.
I don’t know if you’ll agree with me – the Christian life is not the absence of adversities of life; all about receiving blessings and healing. But more having comfort, an anchor, and Savior in the wilderness.
Yearning for the Kingdom:
We have songs and hymns in our local language talking of the Kingdom to come as in the Bible. I love singing and renewing my strength through these songs.
When I’m in too much pain and the burning sensation runs high. And when I see the sacrificial work of Jesus Christ on Calvary’s Cross secured me a new life in him after my life is done here on earth.
It’s a pleasure humming to the tune of “When my life work is done,” by Fanny Crosby (1894). The line I like most from the song is when she declared, “But I long to meet my Savior first of all”
Those hymns composed by people who truly are in spirit seeing the beauty and grand Kingdom are worth pondering.
Psalms 84 and 125:
Now I want to bring you back to the Psalms. I have written about the valley of Baka in my previous post/articles. Yet I want to put it out here again as I find it so great and inspiring turning the valley of Bacca or Baka, which means n Hebrew the valley of Weeping, the valley of Tears, and so on.
Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
whose hearts are set on pilgrimage.
As they pass through the Valley of Baka
they make it a place of springs;
the autumn rains also cover it with pools.
They go from strength to strength,
till each appears before God in Zion.
Here is a Psalm my parents helped me memorized it in my childhood days. It is really comforting. There are times it brings joy to me. It is because the lord is so good and Trustworthy. Here it is Psalms 125:
Those who trust in the LORD are like Mount Zion,
which cannot be shaken but endures forever
As the mountains surround Jerusalem,
so the LORD surrounds his people
both now and forevermore.
No more Tears – No more Crying:
Now you know why I am crying. In my pilgrimage here on earth, more tears may ensue. However, there is a place where there will be no more tears. I have talked a bit about in my book Walking Outside the Garden stating that we’ll be in the Garden of God again.
My children wouldn’t need to remind, “Daddy Don’t Cry!” when I am/ we are in the Kingdom Jesus Christ has built for us.
In My Father’s house are many ]mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also. John 14:2-3
‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Revelation 21:4-7 (selected)
Victorious:
He said to me: “It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To the thirsty, I will give water without cost from the spring of the water of life. Those who are victorious will inherit all this, and I will be their God and they will be my children.
Just as He is victorious over the temptation, sufferings, and even to death – crushing the enemy, He wants us to be victorious. Further, we will be joining him in the place he made for us.
If we become victorious of this pilgrimage in the abiding grace of God, and gaining strength from him, then we will cry no more!
