“Dad, why are you getting sick most of the time?” gently asked my four-year-old girl. We were waiting for her school bus, nearby the busy roadside, early in the morning.
Some parents dropped their children to school. I need to go slow on my driving spree. It was obvious that my child was sometimes envious of them. And, I understand it. It’s a question I often asked myself. But not really willing to know the depth of the truth, instead I wanted to be happy as it is.
“Oh, that?…that we will know someday,” I mumbled as I shift my gaze back into the noisy road.
Her bus had arrived and we waved hands, wishing ourselves well, for the day. My mind rolled over her question once again. Some questions are better left unanswered. Nevertheless, it made me realized the question had somehow passed onto my children.
As for me, I had been in this chronic illness for long so I know how to tackle it. And I’m not busy searching the reasons for it. What we can simply do is – sometimes we blame God and the other time we blame ourselves. Yet I’m contented with me being not able to know everything.
Can You Tell Me Why?
My long overdue sickness had deprived me of my social being. Even my children might be sick of hearing me telling to – turn off the lights as it sometimes triggers migraine; turn the volume down it painful to my ear; please keep it low.
Do not rush me please; I don’t want to be but I’m fragile. It’s not from birth, after some years ago only. My activities and role in the church and family become limited. Although things are hard to accept my role as a young dad for my children suffered a lot.
This time now I told you because they are the one who asked me the question. Sometimes, I wanted to know the reason and put away with, if that’s possible, or at least if the doctors could help me cure it. But now, I try to live with it. In that way, I see the miracle of life every day.
The Miracles of Life:
Miracles happened each day. God doesn’t stop performing miracles yesterday. It happens today and it will happen tomorrow. But how? I’ll tell you if you may ask.
Sometimes, the days are dull with no beauty to be seen. The pain in my head jostles me down in the thick air. I can only wait for the pain to soothe down and what if it doesn’t? However, till now I had experienced the miracle of pain soothing down before the end of the day. And, I called it a miracle because it was beyond what I can do.
The pain or chronic illness is a reminder of God’s work in our body. The illness in its entirety may not be cured but the pain and the complaints subside each day. The problem, however, is that we attributed the merit more to the work of medicines than unseen hands. This is just one view of it, you can find God in your everyday life, if you may.
Not Knowing Everything:
Here I accepted that I can’t know everything. I’m not setting my goals too low, which I otherwise did it in many instances of life. It’s better not knowing everything or the reasons behind every happening.
I’ll be God if I know it all!
“For God knows that in the day you eat of it (the tree in the midst of the garden) your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” Genesis 3:5
In the fallen world, although I wanted to understand and know everything, it’s always impossible. One clue simply led to another, which is never-ending. No one saw everything in its practical. Thus we have the theory of almost everything.
I’d rather keep it for the time when I met him. In the yonder place, where I will know what is best for me. I won’t keep busy myself pursuing these timeless thoughts.
Why Does This Happen to Me?
Some kind of transformation inside us was appreciated because we need something, we were yearning for things we do not know nor do we had. Most of the time it is this unprecedented experiences in life which can transform us.
The thorn in our life has its own meaning and purpose. Also, it comes in different forms and ways. The grace of God is sufficient to endure this earthly living. For beyond it, there’s a victorious life that awaited us if we stay true to our faith and belief.
We can live a fearless living even though we walk in the shadow of death because we have faith in God and his promises. Yet time and again we asked ourselves, why this happens to me, in our daily life.
Who has the wisdom to count the clouds? Who can tip over the water jars of the heavens when the dust becomes hard and the clods of earth stick together? Job 38: 37,38 These were the reply Job had to face in his questions to his sufferings.
Ending Note:
So, I told my children I cannot tell them the “whys” of my getting sick all the time. But I assure them that it comes with a purpose. It is for them to keep praying for me if it is to be lifted from me. In the interim, it is my obligation for me to teach them the way of life while keeping them hopeful for their future.
Whatever happens, life is beautiful with God, I told them. Although they saw me struggle a lot in life, I told them not to lose hope. God never forsake his people.
In the end, here I wanted to put forward the word of Apostle Paul to Timothy in the midst of his sufferings while he was nearing his death in Rome. (2 Timothy 4:18)
“The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom. To him be glory forever and ever.” Amen.
