An Escape Route: Quiet Time

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“The mind is willing but the body is weak.”  You already heard it couple of times.  Here I’m not explaining about it.  It’s just a phrase, for many.

There is an old Mango tree nearby.  Birds resting on its branches are a common sight.  I envy them a lot.  Straight to my window was their resting place.  When they are in chirping mood, it was a pleasant sight.  More than that, they take rest in the branches from the scorching heat of the sun in noontime.  They did not make noise nor do they disturb one another.  They are observing quiet time, I would say.  I’d love to join them.

I love loud music.  The louder it became the more I enjoyed.  But that was in the past.  After a series of hospital visits and the surgical procedure followed by medication, life is different.  My tolerance level changes.  Many times I would like to elude myself from the noisy atmosphere of the metropolitan city, where I lived now.  The melodious sound of the past became a loud noise in the ear.

After years of treatment, the body metabolism changes, this kept troubling normal life.   It was refreshing to tune into soulful songs at times.  The world now is full of innovative things for better living and enjoyment for the dwellers.  Noise was much contained than earlier.   Every small device produced noise, as it makes the owner kept excited.

With children, you need to talk and laugh more than being with adult person.  Being at home, I spent most of my time with our children, and I love it.  We fought hard to live up to each other’s expectations.  We needed to play and dance to keep them engaged and happy.  It keeps me active and alert.

In my younger days, I spent my time in the village, the country-side.  There, we hardly had good sound devices.  We were roaming in the quiet forest.  Back then, we talked about life in Metro Cities with great excitement.

Now all things has changed.  If there is a Bible and good books to read, I would want to escape in quiet place alone.  But that was not possible at all.  I’d love listening to the voice of God in the quietness of time.  There are so many things that stole our thinking and time.  May be that’s why quiet time was more important.

But quiet time alone, without God will serve no purpose.  We are blessed to have God who is always with us, in sickness and in health!

Related read: Stay Connected: Precautions

Fallen Leaf

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We were strolling in the park nearby with my little ones.  A cool breeze was blowing unexpectedly in the evening.  Scorching heat of the sun was experienced throughout the day.  By the way, it might rain tomorrow.

Few days ago, my children came home from school.  He said, “Daddy, I bring some home work for you. ”  The assignment was to make symbolic bird’s nest for school activity.   It was indeed homework for parents as Pre-school children are not able to do nothing on their own.

Now, here in the park, we were searching for dry twigs and fallen leaves to make a symbolic bird’s nest for my children. My son refused to pick up some fallen leaves.  He told me that they were too new and looks so good to be picked up play with.  I told him that we need to pick them up as they cannot be put back in the branches.  “Oh!” he sighed.

While we were still under those trees, few leaves fall on the ground.  So my son was wondering, “Why are they falling down when they can be used by the tree?”

“The wind was blowing hard so they can’t stand the force,” I replied.

So we picked up the leaves, even the new leaves.  After all, they are fallen.  They are dead.

The process of photosynthesis was explained in its simplest terms.  And we talked about trees.  The importance of trees for clean air was reiterated.  Being responsible in our role and to live in harmony during our short span of life was also told.

The leaves, after they fell, are unable to perform their duties.  I told my children, “They did not travel.  They did not change places.  But still they have their given role.  They worked to sustain the life of the tree, where they grew.  They worked together responsibly.”

“When they move, they move together.  They did not complaint each other.  The green leaves look bright and happy, always.  They are shining because they are happy.”  I continued.

Yes, it might be simple and boring for adults.  But for children, they are in learning mode so they get attracted and learned the lessons in simple things too.  Many times, our life span was compared to the flowers, which dried up in the evening.

By now you must have known the reason I told this simple activity.  Living together responsibly and harmoniously is one among the essence of life.

You will always be mine

As a parent, I am not averse to mild physical punishment of children at home.  But it can be avoided or better still if it’s not necessary at all.  I hope we have our own view regarding it.  We can defend our own views too.  In that way, it depends on the one who use it and who don’t use it.

Years ago, I, unwillingly, had to administered the rod of discipline on my son for the first time.  All the negotiations had failed.  I had already told him if he didn’t abide with the authority (here the father i.e. me), physical punishment may ensue.

The case:  Playing time was over.  He demanded more.  It was time for just 10-15 minutes of learning.  He did not comply.  The authority was challenged.  If the authority can be surpassed every time, it’d had no meaning to its existence.  My son pleaded the wrong way, with crying and throwing the toys.  It was time to do something.

All possible efforts were done to let him know what he did was just wrong.  That is, to remain calm.  It was impossible to condone the situation.  So I administered what was promised, just two times.  He submitted himself right away.

I took him in my arms and held him tight.  We say prayer for forgiveness and ask God to help us in the future.  We acknowledge Him to be our witness.  And that, He bless our effort to be good and inculcate wisdom in the right way.  By the time we finished our prayer, we both said “Amen” in agreement.

My son said, “Papa, sorry!  I will be a good boy…” Tears of happiness ensued.  I gently rubbed his pain with my hands so that the pain might ease soon.   At the same time, I am comforting him.  Assuring him, whether good or bad he will always be mine.  I will always love him.  I also reminded him it was out of love, and it won’t happen again unless otherwise needed.   In a moment, both of us became happy.

By the way, we all need to know there is a higher authority in the society and in the world.  Those who can outrun authority from childhood are a menace to the society.  By the time they grow up, none can teach them the right way.  They cannot live responsibly in the realm of the society.  They have power within them, they thought.

It’s just that we needed to react in time.  Love can sometimes be painful though!

Dear son, I love you more.  You will always be mine!

*(This is written based on my journal some years ago.)

Nurturing young minds

They were playing with their toys.  Enacting stories to the best effort they can achieve.  The elder would perform monologue when he feels like.  The younger appreciated the effort of her brother.  Laughter and cheering filled the room.  It is the ideal atmosphere every family would dream of.

The words spoken were pure, coming straight from the heart.  There is no sign of manipulating any situation created so that one might gain edge over the other.   Two kids enjoying their time with the few toys they had.  When they need to use rude words, I enquired where they heard the words.  It was from us parents or from outside the house.  They learned from what they saw and heard.

I hardly interfere while they were playing.  Since becoming a stay-at-home dad, I had the privilege of watching nearby them.  Whenever they needed an extra person for role-playing, I’d dropped in.  I served, mostly, as their quick dictionary or adviser the whole time.  It was worth the wait and the watch.  I feel like saying, folks don’t grow up.  The world is full of evil minds.  But I cannot do that either.

Many thoughts came to my mind; before they became intoxicated with the real world full of crooks.  The phrase, ‘Grow up! Get a life!’ was used many times, to the honest and kind-at-heart kids, who are not willing to get adapted to the cruel world.  Can you imagine what the world has become?  Our kids are at risk whenever they step out of the house.  Worst still, some are at a greater risk at home.

What have the human heart become?  What goes wrong?  Oh my!  There are so many things to tell.  Give the kids their own space. Nurturing and caring them to illuminate their innate being to create better societal values may lead to more peaceful surroundings, mind you.  The more we become old the more our minds get corrupted with evil thought.

By teaching them the way of life, sometimes I feel, we are simply imbibing the ideals of a cruel world.  ‘You know son, when you go out you should be careful not to talk to any stranger’ was a common piece of advice we gave them.  ‘They are not good people, avoid them as you can’.  We taught them so that in the least they can help us in safeguarding them.  That’s our duty.  But on the flip side, we are teaching them bad things that can be done.  You might not agree here.  I did not fully agree though.  But I wanted to emphasize on the condition of the world we lived in.

Had the minds been still pure as they did in our younger days, the world would be full of laughter and happiness.  Still we can something starting from our home to change the world.  Nurture the young minds to live up to their mind.  Bringing up children, if taken seriously, was a big challenge.  To bring up a peace-loving and harmonious mind in today’s world would be a huge challenge.  Still then, our best should be tried.

There are a tremendous amount of good things to learn from children.  Corrupted minds and corrupted thoughts should learn lessons from the young minds.  But who would do that!  We don’t have time for others, nor do we try to learn that costs nothing.

Special Time; Story Time at Home

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It was mostly quiet at this time of the day.  For most of the city slickers, it is time to take rest just after having their lunch.  My children were done with their assigned work.  It was calm, and the wind was lazy, just before taking their noon time nap, it was story time for us.

“Papa, tell us a story,” they demanded .  Our special time is about to begin.

They would settle down into their favorite place, or should I say, ‘our story place’ of the house facing the trees.  I’d gather them around my arms and hold them together to narrate stories, which I hope would have morals in their life.  I have the chance to pick the genre of stories, but not always.

For a Dad, who was no more working, it was always special to be able to spend precious time with my children.  Most of the time, stories told by my Dad and Granddad, in my younger days were retold.  It was a time to inculcate knowledge about the reality of life to the young minds.

Relatively important topics like; why people die? Why is my sister a female? Why not all humans are male? and the likes, were covered in these times.  It was always a special moment in a day.

Why did Mommy need to work?  This needed to be answered many times.  Most of the times, my kids get emotional, and, I feel, draw closer to me.  But what is more important is to tell them the importance of what Mommy is doing for them.  Balancing act needed to be done cautiously.

One thing that made me happy was their eagerness to learn and knows the life stories of Jesus Christ.  After every short stories or topic-wise discussion, came up the demand for at least a brief incident in the life of Jesus.  That always ended up with me enacting the implications of what has been told.

This small practice, simply, many times reminded me of the sharpness of young minds.  How the world has changed the mind of people and the impact of technology on their minds, which I will later discuss here, can be seen.

It makes life worth living.  Happiness can be seen from small things in life rather than the much-anticipated or highly-rated social events.

A Surprise and stunning words from my Son: A privilege

We were sitting in the living room engaged in our own interest.  We did talk in between just to speak our mind.  The small conversations we had are unexpected and prompt. My son looks weaker than yesterday.  He was not sick as yet.  The next day, he had mild fever.

From where he was sitting, my son told me he wanted to say something. When  I nod my head, signaling  him to go on…

“Papa, you know, during those days when you and Mommy go to office everyday.  I used to be very lonely and I cried most of the time,” he said.

“Oh my! was it?” I said.  It was very shocking and I was surprised to hear that from his own lips.  He was only 5 years old by now, and how could he remember that and come up with.  It left me stunned.

“I was alone at home,” my son continued. “I was with one person (our helper at that time), I used to sit near the telephone set waiting for your call.  In between, I used to cry a lot.  You should not leave me like that anymore.”

“Oh! sure, darling,” I replied quickly.  “Now, why did you say that, son?”

“Because Papa, I miss you so much.” He said.  Those were his lonely days he can recalled.  I never thought he would feel that way.  Nor do I believe he would still remember those days. As life goes on, we have to work that way to earn our living.

I explained to him every little details of life as much as I can.  “If God permits that will not happened again,” I assured him.

Now that being said I try to recollect those days.  Every morning,  when we left home for work I saw him sobbing most of the time, although we tried our best to let him understand the situation.  I do feel happy to call from work but sometimes only to hear his cry.

Now I feel happy I can be with him, although I sometimes missed being busy at work.  This kind of day with my son makes my decision to quit work to stay with them more encouraging.  It was an emotional day.  We respect his Mommy for her hard work and care for the entire family.

I tell this not to convince people and not to seek support.  But I tell this because it kept me motivated and out of love for my children.

It is a great privilege to spent most of your time with someone who really needed you and love you purely.

My Child My Care-giver

It has been years that I had suffered from right temporal lobe epilepsy.  Happy enough to have suffered only two attacks at which I was completely unconscious, the other times it was only mild like not being able to move my leg, repeated twitching of eyelid, numbness in the arm, hallucinations, and many more. With the help of medicine frequent attacks are prevented, although I was as if always half awake even during day time.

It was one of those days when I have experience some mild migraine-type headache. I was with my two and a half year old son, alone at home.

I would often say, “Son, I’m gonna lie down for a while because I have headache’’.

He would bow his head in agreement.

“Whenever you want to pee or use potty, you can let me know’” I added.

He would watch his favorite Television program without disturbing me.

But at times he would come to me and said, “Papa, you asleep?” and would touch my head.  When I told him that I’m not asleep, he would go back to watch TV again. After a while, he would come back with the same routine. It became his duty to look after me till I get better.

My son, my friend, and my caregiver!